Death has become a specialist subject for me. I have read hundreds of children's books on the topic. So, it was hard to limit to just a few. Having to think of non-US titles did help. Two of these are translated. Two are from Aotearoa New Zealand, one from a Māori perspective, and one from a Pākehā (white) perspective.
The fact of death / cannot destroy what has been given.
Cry, heart, but never break by Glenn Ringtved, illustrated by Charlotte Pardi, translated from the Danish by Robert Moulthrop.
Death is not to be feared in this gentle tale, but cared for, and embraced as part of life. This Death is a weary traveller, who is so, so, so loving and gentle.
Dadaji's paintbrush by Rashmi Sirdeshpande & Ruchi Mhasane.
I wish that everyone has a Dadaji as loving and mourned as this. The message of this book is one that exemplifies the poem I have based my blog title on, which I shared below.
Grandma lives in a perfume village by Fang Suzhen, Sonja Danowski, & Huang Xiumin.
A conversation starter, with a focus on the grief of a child, for a parent. It's just that the child is also a parent.
My father and his older sister were in their 50s when their mother died. I heard my father say, on the phone, "we're orphans" to my aunt. The fact you're a grown-up and maybe a parent, or grandparent, when your parents die, does not stop you from being a child. A grieving and lost child.
Millie's big decision by Ian Eagleton & Max Rambaldi.
The death of Millie's beloved grandmother helps give this story impetus. How can Millie adopt and love a new dog, when they could die, and she would grieve. The inclusion of two dads is incidental to the story, but is a lovely bonus.
The hug blanket by Chris Gurney & Lael Chisholm.
I can see myself, wrapped in my hug blanket, on the dreaded day my mother dies. And the weeks to come. The visits to Nana's grave, in this book, bring back memories of my family attending funerals and burial services. The solemnness, and sadness, and the laughter. I don't think anyone has done cartwheels at a graveside to show our departed whānau (family) how good they're getting at them, though.
Riwia and the Stargazer by Linda Tuhiwai Smith & Isobel Joy Te Aho-White.
I had contemplated placing this book in another section, but the representation of a Māori tangihana, means it is best suited here. This book deals with so much more, including homelessness.
I had thought that your death
was a waste and a destruction,
a pain of grief hardly to be endured.
I am only beginning to learn
that your life was a gift and a giving
and a loving left with me.
The desperation of death
destroyed the existence of love,
but the fact of death
cannot destroy what has been given.
I am learning to look at your life again
instead of your death and your departing
From: Pizer, Marjorie. "The Existence of Love" in Marjorie Pizer Selected Poems 1963-1983. Syndey, NSW: Pinchyut Press, 1984, p 78.
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